If your missus is always complaining about you letting them rip around her, or ladies - if your man doesn't appreciate it when you trap him in a good ol' fashioned dutch oven, then today is your lucky day - because a study has proven that farts can help your cells to live.
Yes, farts - those funny sounding and smelly things that emit from your glorious behind - are good for your health.
First of all, before we get into the specifics - can we just ask a question: what the hell sort of university gave the green light for this study to be conducted? Because we want to give them a high five, cause that's fucking awesome.
According to Dr. Mark Wood, one of the researchers at the University of Exeter:
Although hydrogen sulfide is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases.
That's science talk for saying the smell your stinky ass farts produce gives your body various health benefits.
More nerd talk from another researcher, Professor Matt Whiteman:
When cells become stressed by disease, they draw in enzymes to generate minute quantities of hydrogen sulfide (aka ass gas).
This keeps the mitochondria ticking over and allows cells to live. If this doesn’t happen, the cells die and lose the ability to regulate survival and control inflammation.
Read more about the research here, because trying to explain all this science stuff ourselves is giving us a headache.
Well....there you go. While farts don't cure cancer, they are good for you.
What a time to be alive.
So next time you're in bed letting off a stinker, make sure you lift the covers and let your partner really take in what you have produced.