Inappropriate children's book titles that actually exist

Polly Paints a Penis? It Hurts When I Poop? My First Cavity Search?

Yes, these are all legit children's book titles. And they're goddamn hilarious.

We have no idea how these got over the line and actually made it to print, but sweet baby jesus we're happy they did.

Book titles, if you're too lazy to watch the video above:

  • Polly Paints A Penis
  • Please Don't Touch My Tomato
  • Who Cares About Elderly People?
  • It Hurts When I Poop!
  • My First Cavity Search
  • Don't Make Me Go Back, Mommy
  • The Gas We Pass
  • My Beautiful Mommy
  • Monsters Eat Whiny Children
  • The Man, The Horse