What to do when your neighbour's sex is so loud it sounds like murder

First off, we've got nothing against ladies showing their appreciation for our "hard" work, however this neighbour's letter offering advice to a couple who were rooting so loud it sounded like a "zombie invasion" is a fucking laugh. 

A neighbouring apartment decided to leave an anonymous note congratulating the couple for having a super active sex life, but: "from one sexually active neighbour to another here's some advice on how to keep the rest of us out of your apartment."

Let your man know he's doing a good job without it sounding like zombies are invading your apartment.


For the woman, the note acknowledged: "moans are nice. they'e sensual yet animalistic; romantic yet carnal", then suggested perhaps she try deep sighs because they: "let your man know he's doing a good job without it sounding like zombies are invading your apartment."  

Not to leave the man out, the note added:

"To the man: your woman is aggressively loud and probably faking it. FINISH HER."  

Absolute gold.