New study reckons Netflix is a giant cockblock, ending couples sex lives

Professor David Spiegelhalter from the University of Cambridge believes couples are less interested in sex because they watch more TV in bed.

What a time to be alive.

Gummon.  Have we all forgotten what "Netflix and chill" was invented for?

BONING.

Yes. "Netflix and chill", a polite but direct way of saying: "I want to get you horizontal, put on Netflix to muffle my embarrassing sex noises and prevent awkwardness for flatmates/family, then proceed to get into your pants. In a not chill way."

At this point, this should not be news to anyone with access to the internet. 

However, it seems some people have lost their way during "Netflix and chill" sessions, and are actually watching Netflix - watching Netflix so much that that's all they're doing. 

One in eight 26-year-olds were still virgins - compared to roughly one in twenty in previous generations.


In 2016, Professor Spiegelhalter blamed figures showing falling rates of sex on the ‘mass of connectivity’ we have now ‘compared with just a few years ago when the TV used to close down at half past ten’, the DailyMail reports.

Spiegelhalter's conclusion is supported by researchers at the Lancaster University in the UK. They conducted a study which discovered the new peak time for internet use is now between 10 pm- 11 pm, up from 8-10 pm - suggesting people are watching streaming services later.

Back in 2016, Spiegelhalter and the University of Cambridge also found that although millennials may be the champions of Tinder, that doesn't mean they're getting any follow through. 

They researched 16,000 people born between 1989-90 and found one in eight 26-year-olds were still virgins - compared to roughly one in twenty in previous generations.

This is just deeply sad. Close the laptop. Altered Carbon isn't going anywhere.

Don't be part of the statistic; don't done the Netflix chasity belt. If there's someone in bed next to ya... Check that oil. Slime that banana. Fill that donut. Get on into the no-pants dance.

And if there isn't, well, you're not going to find them on Netflix...