Bloke experiences 9-day erection after intrusive scooter accident damages gooch

funny shit 17/06/2019

As if falling off a scooter wasn't bad enough...

One bloke has experienced some unusual side effects after falling of his scooter.

According to doctors, a bruise near the lad's genitals left his package feeling a bit too happy for well over a week - before he eventually decided to take himself to the emergency room 9 days later.

This bizarre incident was recorded in a newly released medical journal. According to the report, the unnamed 35-year-old bruised his perineum, the area between the genitals and anus that's better know as the 'taint' or 'gooch'.

Four hours after the accident, the man developed an erection.. and nine days later, it was still going uncomfortably strong.

Once at ER, he was diagnosed with a Grade IV erection, the highest rating on the Erection Hardness Score (yes, that's a real thing). Even among cases of unwanted stiffness, the blokes’s situation was unusual.

Apparently, most erections that last too long — a condition called priapism — involve a blockage of blood vessels directly connected to the penis. Basically, it means blood that can’t leave the package as normal - but this bloke had the opposite problem.

Doctors found he had a high-flow priapism, meaning that blood wouldn’t stop rushing to his junk, which usually happens when the blood vessels surrounding the genitals are injured and ruptured, in this case, by a scooter to the gooch.

While funny, a low-flow priapism is a medical emergency as the blockage can kill off tissue and permanently damage the penis. Thankfully for this bloke, the doctoros were able to sort him out with an ice-pack and a bit of compression to the blood vessels.

Soon after, the man’s condition improved, though it took a while for him to fully recover the use of his penis. But when they checked in on him a year later, he reported having completely normal erectile function.

“Timely intervention needs to be considered to avoid the potential risk of erectile dysfunction in the long term from conservative measures,” they said.