From dishes in the bin to violating pillows: These 'flatmate from hell' stories are out the gate

funny shit 10/05/2022

We've all had a flatmate who has been a bit of a wounder (and if you haven't, it's you) but users on Reddit have shared some bat shit crazy stories about their "roommate from hell". 

One Redditor put the question "What did your roommate from hell do to earn their title?" to the AskReddit forum, and the responses are ruthless, to say the least. 

To kick us off, one Redditor u/positivepizza20, shared a yarn about how they suspected their flatmate Morgan, who they were already beefing with, was putting nail polish remover into their facial moisturizer, which is pretty f*cked up.

The flatmate denied ever doing such a thing, and positivepizza moved out within a fortnight.

But that's not all. When they came back to retrieve their bed, they discovered there were "fresh bodily fluids" on positivepizza's pillow, courtesy of Morgan. What a wanker!

Another user, u/NOT000, noticed that one of his flatmates had not done the dishes for about a week, a classic shit roommate.

As you do, the Redditor asked his roommate to pick up the slack. One day he got back from work to find that instead of washing the dishes, the flatmate had simply thrown them in the trash.

We've all thought about doing this on a dusty Sunday, but to actually do it (and on a weekday) is far from all good. 

u/GoBananaSlugs shared a story about a flatmate that was so desperate for a cone that they put bong water in Tupperware and cooked it in a microwave:

"My college roommate ran out of pot, so he tried to boil down his bong water to "hash" in my microwave using my Tupperware.

"The residue ended up fusing with the plastic at the bottom of the container so he scraped it out with a razor blade and smoked a big bowl of plastic and bongwater concentrate with the windows closed."

That would have smelt atrocious and we would highly recommend never doing such a thing... but we do kind of want to know if it worked. 

Meanwhile, u/theDeuce had a pretty awesome drunk flatmate story. 

Basically, the flatmate in question got pretty horsed too quickly at some party and decided to head back to the flat early.

Soon after, u/theDeuce and one other flatmate returned home and from the outside see the living room lights turn off really quickly.

They entered the flat and "saw a massive person-sized hole in the hallway wall into the bathroom".

The horsed roommate, who was "asleep" on the couch, said that "someone 'broke in', didn't try to steal anything but just busted a hole in our wall ... then slipped out the still locked back door".

This one definitely leaves us with more questions than answers. 

Finally, this last one by u/CoyBabee needs no further comment. 

"Literally tried to murder a man at my house. I had to testify."

Can your 'flatmate from hell' stories compete with these?