Here you go ladies and gents, it's #PooTowns of Tauranga 🤘
Travelling through a sea of road cones
Two of the country’s 3 toll roads
Rank smell round the beaches, rotten sea lettuce
Patrick’s Pies are wonderful for breakfast
Living in the land Tauranga
All the road names there are just numbers
Retirees kind of like Florida
In Welcome Bay - the squad of Armed Offenders
And if all the shops are kind of empty
Then tell me how there’s never any parking?
I’m begging you can you lift my wages?
$10 Tauranga, prices are outrageous
Traffic lights all around Tauranga
Didn’t fix the traffic - what a bummer
Getting over run by JAFA’s
It’s unreliable the bus they call The Bay Hopper
Boys College brought you Sam Cane
Kane Williamson, and Peter Burling
The Mount is home to Lovely Trenty
Yes they all come from the Bay of Plenty
Did you hear about Tauranga?
Was a Rubber Duck race in the harbour
Was 5000 ducks, till a massive blunder
There was a fishing net, half went around or under
Lots of traffic in Tauranga
Traffic stuck in a 12 hour Rush Hour
Indian Man on a horse - is such a wonder
All the teens on The Strand at night they like to chunder
2 degrees of separation – even though it’s
Boomers getting drunk and singing along to 'brown eyed girl' at the strand's cougerstone (cornerstone) pub on a Friday night
RIP crazy Jack's.
Red square in the center of town, it’s not red and it isn’t square.
Post your Christmas cards from Bethlehem in Tauranga.