Here you go Hastings!
Lyrics -
Railway line in the middle of town
Cuts the town in half with the tracks in the ground
Havelock North is a suburb of it
But the residents there would never admit
Tranny stripper used to hard work at night
Had an Adam’s apple that would give you a fright
Wineries, orchards, gannets at the beach
And one co-ed school where you can go teach
At Splash Planet you can swim
Water has got, E Coli in
Hastings in the Hawkes Bay
Where the New World’s best
Hastings in The Hawkes Bay
Not your STD test
Hastings in The Hawkes Bay
They all resist arrest
When you’re walking down the road
You might get jumped for your phone yeah
Bare knuckle BBQ – the best feed
Specially if you’ve been out toking weed
Men are being men, and the sheep are scared
They’re afraid of more than being sheered
Cycle lanes around keeping cyclists alive
Pity no one here knows how to indicate or drive
Watties first producing all their canned goods there
Drinking’s pretty easy - Tui is the favourite beer
There’s a fountain – fill it up
With detergent – get some suds
Hastings in the Hawkes Bay
With the bypass due
Hastings in The Hawkes Bay
You won’t have to go through
Hastings in The Hawkes Bay
There isn’t much to do
Eighty thousand folks reside
A nearby town it is called Clive