We’ve all had close calls while ‘wrestling the dragon’, but this bloke has enraged his closest neighbours and exposed them to some sinful sounds.
In a Reddit post titled “TIFU [Today I Fucked Up] by waking up 3 whole apartment blocks at 2am with obnoxiously loud porn noises”, the bloke explains that to commence his “ritual before bed wank” he had to connect his air-pods to his phone, as you do.
However, he actually connected to his neighbour’s living room speakers. These neighbours just so happened to have the doors to their balcony wide open, and it also just so happened to be two o’clock in the morning. Not great.
Due to the noise-cancelling on his air-pods, the guy didn’t realise the porn was playing on the neighbour’s speakers, so, naturally, he turned the volume up to the max “right as they got into the ‘loud’ part.”
“It sounded like club speakers absolutely BLASTING in the peaceful 2 am silence of 30 full seconds of loud porn noises.”
Uh Oh. He’s managed to wake up the whole apartment complex to the sound of two porn stars bumping uglies. It was 30 seconds before he realised his grave error, a significant amount of time when listening to unwanted sex noises, even more so in the early hours of the morning.
Imagine being peacefully asleep one evening, then, suddenly the sounds of grunting and moaning at a cinema-like volume disturb your slumber. It’s one thing to be woken up by a partner snoring or the rubbish truck outside, but it’s a whole other thing to be woken up by unwarranted pornography.
The culprit did admit to having a laugh about the whole situation, calling it “by far one of the funniest moments of [his] life”. But his neighbours didn’t quite find the humour in the situation, evidenced by the fact they could be heard yelling ‘Shut the f*** up!’ and ‘Are you serious!?’. Oh boy.
On the bright side, DJ Porn Sounds will remain anonymous as the sexual soundtrack cannot be traced back to him. I’m sure, however, there were a whole lot of death stares around the complex the next morning.
If there’s any lesson to take out of this story, it’s to check and double-check everything is right before letting off some steam for the evening.
We're not sure if this is better or worse than when Listener Johnny accidentally chromecasted his x-rated video onto the dining room, where his family were eating dinner.
