Poo Towns of NZ - Alexandra
Rock Drive
Rock Drive

Poo Towns of NZ - Alexandra

Alex! Where the F@#k is Alex?
25 August 2022 2:05PM


It’s too hot in summer, in winter too cold

Half of the residents are more than 60 years old

Driving scooters at dangerous speeds.

Here in Alex...


When the hoarfrost meets rain, you need to wear skates

The water’s so bad, all they have to drink Speights 

The avenue bakery and jimmy’s pies have a rivalry 

They’re not really mates.


Ohhh they’ve got the longest runway, when you want to land a plane,

And they test 5G in town, will it affect your brain 

and a shaky bridge, there’s a big clock on the hill in Alex!


Alex! Where the f@#k is Alex!


33km from Cromwell is where it’s at 

But still, you’ll probably say “nah bro i don’t know where’s that ?"

Its just short for Alexandra

If that helps that’s the town of Alex.” 


Alex! Where the f@#k is Alex!


The police corruption, got most of the four sacked 

One lady cop ran around with no clothes on her back.

The cops in Alex...


Alex! Where the f@#k is aAex!


The pubs get named middle and bottom and top. 

But is that where you find them, no sadly it’s not. 

Middle’s down at the bottom and the locals are confused 

Over which pub is what.


There‘s the Alexandra blossom fest to give you allergies 

and fulton hogan workers are all within 3 degrees of

separation to the population of the town that is called Alex


Alex! where the f@#k is Alex!


The whole town would get wiped out if the Clyde dam fell away

And when you see the crack’s you know hat could be any day 

Can you please bring back Bill from cmc traders

In the town of Alex 


Alex! Where the f@#k is Alex!


No i’m still not actually sure where you’re supposed to find the town of Alex…