Poo Towns of NZ - Taihape
Rock Drive
Rock Drive

Poo Towns of NZ - Taihape

It's his best yet!
25 August 2022 2:05PM

They just get better and better every week. Taihape - this is your #PooTownsOfNZ.


Lyrics below - 


A town Red Band Gumboots are standard

It’s a long time since the town’s expanded

There’s just one pub, no KFC

When it closed it was Tai-Unhappy

Population 1700

But sadly due to declining numbers

The High School and the Primary

Joined up 15 years ago in Taihape

Stockies was the best pub ever

And if school girls aren’t very clever

They leave school and they go get pregnant

To shearers. Wear a rubber? Didn’t.


The corrugated iron gumboot

Don’t sit on it, might impregnante you

There was great pies at the 4 Square

Now it’s just cold pies and warm Sprite there


Best stop for trucks on main trunk line

You get three 'F's, a feed, a fight

The other f, you’re out of luck

I’ll just say that it rhymes with truck


This town has quite poor Micky D’s

The service, not the food you see

G Funk Pub has Karaoke

It’s the best night out in Taihape


It is near the Rangitikei

At Grav Canyon you do bungy

Yes Grav is short for Gravity

Throw yourself off a bridge in Taihape


There's a steam train whistle and it blows

Three times a day so everyone knows

When to take their lunch breaks and Smokos

Tighten your belt buckle if you hear banjos


Stay at the local motel

The check in there is really swell

They’ll serve you up a beer and bread

And porn DVD’s to take to bed


If you forget just how to spell it

If your IQ’s low - this sentence YELL IT!

Tim And I Had A Pie Each

In Taihape that’s how they teach


And forget Tinder - you get more action

If you’re looking for some satisfaction

Ringing the numbers in the public loo

People write them down and up for you


"Gumboot Capital of the World"

But Win Wah Takeaway makes you hurl

Till your stomach and bowels are both empty

That’s how it rolls in Taihape


Now this town has no KFC

But you can eat Oki Sushi

There’s missing teeth and shoes you see

On the locals around Taihape


Some haven’t travelled past Palmy

There’s swingers, you might get lucky

Mate here’s the bowl, chuck in your key

Yes Show Day’s Big in Taihape.