They just get better and better every week. Taihape - this is your #PooTownsOfNZ.
Lyrics below -
A town Red Band Gumboots are standard
It’s a long time since the town’s expanded
There’s just one pub, no KFC
When it closed it was Tai-Unhappy
Population 1700
But sadly due to declining numbers
The High School and the Primary
Joined up 15 years ago in Taihape
Stockies was the best pub ever
And if school girls aren’t very clever
They leave school and they go get pregnant
To shearers. Wear a rubber? Didn’t.
The corrugated iron gumboot
Don’t sit on it, might impregnante you
There was great pies at the 4 Square
Now it’s just cold pies and warm Sprite there
Best stop for trucks on main trunk line
You get three 'F's, a feed, a fight
The other f, you’re out of luck
I’ll just say that it rhymes with truck
This town has quite poor Micky D’s
The service, not the food you see
G Funk Pub has Karaoke
It’s the best night out in Taihape
It is near the Rangitikei
At Grav Canyon you do bungy
Yes Grav is short for Gravity
Throw yourself off a bridge in Taihape
There's a steam train whistle and it blows
Three times a day so everyone knows
When to take their lunch breaks and Smokos
Tighten your belt buckle if you hear banjos
Stay at the local motel
The check in there is really swell
They’ll serve you up a beer and bread
And porn DVD’s to take to bed
If you forget just how to spell it
If your IQ’s low - this sentence YELL IT!
Tim And I Had A Pie Each
In Taihape that’s how they teach
And forget Tinder - you get more action
If you’re looking for some satisfaction
Ringing the numbers in the public loo
People write them down and up for you
"Gumboot Capital of the World"
But Win Wah Takeaway makes you hurl
Till your stomach and bowels are both empty
That’s how it rolls in Taihape
Now this town has no KFC
But you can eat Oki Sushi
There’s missing teeth and shoes you see
On the locals around Taihape
Some haven’t travelled past Palmy
There’s swingers, you might get lucky
Mate here’s the bowl, chuck in your key
Yes Show Day’s Big in Taihape.
