Poo Towns - Tairua
Rock Drive
Rock Drive

Poo Towns - Tairua

Number 94 ladies and gents!
25 August 2022 2:05PM

Here you go Tairua! Lyrics below, not that they will really help anyway..


Pauanui’s close to Tairua

That’s where they pipe the stuff from their sewer

Wiger Toods mini putt in Tairua

It’s gone but was the best putt putt ever

There’s dog poo all over town

No skate park it makes them frown

No Pak n Save or Countdown

Lot’s of Isagenix round


Got a po-lice station looking like a small home

Over summer Tairua’s where the JAFA’s all go

Locals don’t like them there's a lot of hate

But they’re pretty happy when they all pay for their rates

There’s a guy called Selwyn singing at the 4 Square

And some people say the ladies are quite grumpy there

But I called up and that’s when I talked to Margaret

Was a pretty chipper lass and she was quite light hearted


There’s a one way bridge that’s not great for summer

Summer traffic backing up to Sailors Grave’s a bummer

But it’s really good when you are doing Manu’s

lots of people at high tide are doing bombs down there too


There’s a facebook page called Tairua Chit Chat

Goes by the nickname Tairua Shit Chat

Lot’s of people on there saying they lost their dog or cat

Paku Lodge is an awesome spot for you to stay at


That’s what is happening in Tairua

Great park is overlooking the harbour

Poachers are getting caught in Tairua

With undersized crayfish and small paua

Best yogurt ice creams around

Some folk call it Toilet Town

They just stop to flush it down

Something that’s yellow or brown


The Sir George Grey Hotel was an icon

It’s a national crime that the pub is now gone

First job’s Four Square or a paper run

If you didn’t do that did you even have one


There’s 2 bottles shops, 12 shops for a feed

Cops dump pesticides all over your weed

Is there wife swapping there? Well yes indeed!

Have a carsick vom in Pauanui if you need



The wine and food fest is getting smaller

The price is high but you can see all the

Cougars trying to split up guys from their guy groups

Please be careful, if they come after you


Break into Tairua Primary

When the weather’s hot, have a night swim for free

Horses galloping along at  the beach

That’s why there’s horse crap all over the streets


Young guy has a mullet in Tairua

He’s the apprentice at the town butcher

Making great sausages in Tairua

That’s not the only kind he’ll give to ya

Got the best opshop around

Jandal statue in the town

The tourists are squating down

Behind the 4 Square leaving something brown