Here you go Tairua! Lyrics below, not that they will really help anyway..
Pauanui’s close to Tairua
That’s where they pipe the stuff from their sewer
Wiger Toods mini putt in Tairua
It’s gone but was the best putt putt ever
There’s dog poo all over town
No skate park it makes them frown
No Pak n Save or Countdown
Lot’s of Isagenix round
Got a po-lice station looking like a small home
Over summer Tairua’s where the JAFA’s all go
Locals don’t like them there's a lot of hate
But they’re pretty happy when they all pay for their rates
There’s a guy called Selwyn singing at the 4 Square
And some people say the ladies are quite grumpy there
But I called up and that’s when I talked to Margaret
Was a pretty chipper lass and she was quite light hearted
There’s a one way bridge that’s not great for summer
Summer traffic backing up to Sailors Grave’s a bummer
But it’s really good when you are doing Manu’s
lots of people at high tide are doing bombs down there too
There’s a facebook page called Tairua Chit Chat
Goes by the nickname Tairua Shit Chat
Lot’s of people on there saying they lost their dog or cat
Paku Lodge is an awesome spot for you to stay at
That’s what is happening in Tairua
Great park is overlooking the harbour
Poachers are getting caught in Tairua
With undersized crayfish and small paua
Best yogurt ice creams around
Some folk call it Toilet Town
They just stop to flush it down
Something that’s yellow or brown
The Sir George Grey Hotel was an icon
It’s a national crime that the pub is now gone
First job’s Four Square or a paper run
If you didn’t do that did you even have one
There’s 2 bottles shops, 12 shops for a feed
Cops dump pesticides all over your weed
Is there wife swapping there? Well yes indeed!
Have a carsick vom in Pauanui if you need
The wine and food fest is getting smaller
The price is high but you can see all the
Cougars trying to split up guys from their guy groups
Please be careful, if they come after you
Break into Tairua Primary
When the weather’s hot, have a night swim for free
Horses galloping along at the beach
That’s why there’s horse crap all over the streets
Young guy has a mullet in Tairua
He’s the apprentice at the town butcher
Making great sausages in Tairua
That’s not the only kind he’ll give to ya
Got the best opshop around
Jandal statue in the town
The tourists are squating down
Behind the 4 Square leaving something brown
