Birds getting on the piss and causing chaos in small town

funny shit 09/10/2018

The police force in a small US town named Gilbert, have their hands full dealing with young, unruly troublemakers getting on the lash and causing chaos. 

Only, these little guys are birds. 

Not the sexy female varitation. We mean the flying, squawking type. 

The Police Chief released a statement last week explaining; "The Gilbert Police Department has received several reports of birds that appear to be 'under the influence' flying into windows, cars and acting confused,"

Apparently an early frost means the birds haven't migrated south yet and the berries have fermented earlier than usual. Fermented berries do a pretty similar thing to fermented grapes - So, the birds have been chowing down on the sweet little natural nuggets, and consequently getting as pissed as Aunty Madge after she's topped off a couple bottles of chard. 

The Police Chief gave some further insight on why the birds are SO pissed, "It appears that some birds are getting a little more 'tipsy' than normal," he wrote.

"Generally, younger birds' livers cannot handle the toxins as efficiently as more mature birds."

So, just like when our kids crack their first bourbon or pop their first bottle of scrumpy, the younger birds don't have the stomachs to handle the alcohol as well their elders, and as such, get way more rinsed.  


Stuff reports more on this story.