Two blokes spent 15-years compiling a ‘Phallus Thesaurus’ of nicknames for ya piece
Funny Shit
Funny Shit

Two blokes spent 15-years compiling a ‘Phallus Thesaurus’ of nicknames for ya piece

These nicknames are gold.

This is absolute gold.

A couple of months ago, Jay and Dunc were yarning on their podcast about the worst names for genitalia… 

Off the back of that, a listener named Adam posted to Jay and Dunc’s Facebook group ‘Sniper’s Nightmare,’ helping the boys out with a huge list of nicknames for your piece. 

Adam and his mate have been compiling the list since their school days over 15 years ago, and over the years, any time they’ve heard a funny synonym for penis, they’ve popped it on the list. 

May we present to you, Adam and his mate’s list of dick-synonyms! Or in Adam’s words, the “Phallus Thesaurus”:

"Beef missile

Bald-headed giggle stick 

Camel rider

Throbbing wobbly

Rat rifle

The blunt fury

Spam Javelin


Purple headed womb warrior

Birth canon

Weapon of ass destruction

Bald headed yogurt slinger

The mugger in gammon alley

One eyed milkman

Beef bayonet

Richard and the twins

Bearded blood sausage 

Turtle neck sweater

100% beef thermometer 

Deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love

Fandangled mandangler

Winky the milk spitting tunnel ferret

Throbbing purple spear of destiny

Squirmin' Herman the one eyed german 

Silly willy's stick of mayhem

Mr Johnson and the juice crew

Beef gatter

Lasagne puncher

Soldier in the flesh trench

Swinging beef

Mushroom tip

Back room boy

Flesh rocket 


But my personal favourite and one for the LOTR fans… Boromir (because it takes 3 shots to go down)."

How. Fucking. Good. Was. That?

Cheers Adam for sharing the Phallus Thesaurus with us!

If you wanna be a part of Jay and Dunc’s Snipers Nightmare Facebook group, you can join it here.