I’m warning you right now that what you are about to read might just be the worst wedding story ever and it can't be unread.
Podcast host Georgie Mitchell has been told this story twice by two different makeup artists, why she continued listening when she started hearing it the second time beats me.
“The bride needed to go to the toilet just before the ceremony,” Georgie recalls on her podcast Unfiltered Bride. “She walked into the toilet and what she saw is enough to end a wedding.”
Co-host Beth then guesses what everyone would first think, cheating or drugs or wanking, but the truth, Georgie reveals, is “much worse” than any of those options.
“He was being breastfed by his mum.”
“Sorry, what?” Beth replied, same Beth, same. “Why would you marry a man who still breastfeeds?”
The original extended clip has been deleted from TikTok, but The Mirror reports that the story actually gets worse.
The bride went on with the wedding. That’s right, she saw that monstrosity in the bathroom, walked out to her closest loved ones cheering her on and then smooched the same lips that were suckling upon the inappropriate teat moments earlier.
“Everybody is in the room waiting!” Gracie said, trying to explain the decision to go ahead with the ceremony. “But you definitely wouldn’t kiss when they say you will kiss the groom!”
Commenters on the video are understandably disgusted and shocked, though still well enough to get some jokes off.
“Took 'mummy's boy' to a whole new level,” one said.
“I thought you were gonna say that the groom was dead - but this was worse,” one person wrote,” another added.
“The strongest man couldn't lift my jaw right now,” a third wrote.