Turns out our national bird sounds like Satan.
Footage of a Kiwi screaming, roaring and possibly even gargling its bones is going gangbusters online, but its viral wave seems to have stemmed from good ol’ Reddit.
In a video shared to the subreddit ‘Nature Is Fucking Lit’ (hell yeah, brother), u/amish_novelty said: “Apparently the call of a Kiwi sounds like a mini T-Rex.” They're not wrong.
Hey, old mate God: What mood you were in when you gave our innocent, humble and flightless bird the roar of a satanic sabre-tooth tiger stuck at the bottom of a Castle Street flat’s InSinkErator?
Commenters across all of modern society’s homes of mature discussion - social media - have no clue what’s going on.
“I'm pretty sure that if my kids heard that at night they would 100% believe dinosaurs are still alive and not believe any evidence to the contrary,” said one person on Reddit.
“Could've given me an infinite amount of guesses and I wouldn't have come close to describing the sound that fucking thing makes,” another added.
“Shows up. Screams into the night sky. Refuses to elaborate. Runs away,” wrote someone on an Instagram post.
“He kinda looks like a little dude with his hands in his pockets,” another IG user said.
Aussies should count themselves lucky they don't have to deal with Kiwi birds in the wild. Instead, they've got the job of using their teeth to escape crocodiles.
Colin Deveraux was walking alongside a billabong when he was attacked by a crocodile and was only able to escape after he bit the beast where it sees from.
His incredible yarn, which also involves a 130km drive with a fucked up leg, has earned him a place in the history books, filed under 'Absolute Weapons'.
It's a good thing Kiwis aren't as violent as crocs because that one would be one hellish animal.