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Shit… New Zealand could be facing a toilet paper shortage very soon

Not this again...

Taking us back to early lockdown days, New Zealand could be facing a toilet paper shortage very soon. 

Only one factory in this country produces toilet paper, the Essity mill in Kawerau.

Production there has slowed to a halt due to staff being locked out of the factory after a dispute with management over pay - which could leave us shit out of luck, and by luck we mean toilet paper. 

Tane Phillips, a member of the Pulp and Paper Union Kawerau, the group representing the mill workers, told 1News that without the workers, the mill won’t be producing enough TP to keep NZ’s undies skidmark-free. 

“There’s no production being made, what they might be doing, and I think they are doing, is shipping some of the already-made toilet paper out, but there isn’t a lot of that either.”

“Going to supermarkets around here,” he continued. “They’ve got signs up that limit the amount of toilet paper you can take, so, I think that sends a message.”

It does sound worrying, but please do not go panic buying toilet paper, it helps no one and makes us look like damn fools.

Countdown have even said that there should be plenty of toilet paper to go round. 

“We’re working closely with [Ettisy mill] and our supply partners to ensure we have enough toilet paper supply for everyone to get what they need,” a spokesperson of theirs told 1News

“At this stage, we don’t have any concerns about a possible shortage.” 

Phillips also talked to Stuff about the issue and said that mill workers feel they deserve more pay because they’ve been at the mill for years, worked hard through COVID while the higher-ups at the company got to chill at home, and because of inflation.

“We’re talking about some guys who have done over 40 years on that site, so they’re invested in that site and that community,” he said. 

“We’re not asking for anything out of the ordinary in New Zealand at this point in time.”

“While their managers in Australia and New Zealand stayed at home keeping their families safe [the workers were in the factory].”

“Now they ask for a fair pay rise, they get locked out.”