Apparently it’s dangerous to spend more than five minutes on the can at one time

The toilet is one of the last places of true privacy though...
18 August 2022 10:50AM

Experts say there can be consequences if you spend too much time sitting on the porcelain throne

Medical professionals warn that spending an extended period of time on the shitter - around five minutes - leads to an increased risk of haemorrhoids.

Basically, whenever you drop the kids off at the pool, veins in your bum get put to work.

According to the experts at Mayo Clinic, if you overdo it on the loo ( straining or sitting for too long) those veins can swell, leading to a very painful experience for you. 

This sucks because the toilet is one of the last areas of pure and utter privacy left in this world — a sanctuary where you can truly be alone, without the worry of someone bothering you.

Last year, QS Supplies completed a study about exactly what people on the shitter get up to. 

They surveyed 1020 British and Americans, and found out a whole bunch of crazy shit (pun intended).

There’s the stuff that you’d expect - 67% of people reckon it’s fine to text, email, or play games on your phone while you're dropping a load. 

42% go on social media, while 31% catch up on the news while they’re sitting on the loo. 

Now for the straight up out of line stuff. Five per cent of people surveyed - that’s around 50 people - admitted to eating on the toilet, which is just a big what the fuck?

Almost 12 per cent said they light up a ciggy while taking a shit - nothing like blowing off some steam while blowing up the toilet bowl, we guess.

Another five per cent said they’ll be drinking some booze while on the toilet. 

Eleven per cent said they’ll indulge in “self-pleasure” while pooing, and a further five per cent have sent nudes while on the can. 

If you do any of that weird stuff, you should probably stop. Not just because it’s strange, but because it’s legitimately not good for you.