Rock Drive

Bloke gets banned from hotel after a flock of seagulls attack his suitcase full of salami

" I can still remember the look on the lady's face when she opened the door."
17 August 2022 6:35PM

Strap yourself in because this story is a WILD ride…

Jay & Dunc read out listeners crazy yarn about how he got banned from a hotel for life
Listener Nick, who listens to The Rock every day in Canada, decided to share with us how he managed to get banned from the Dear Empress Hotel thanks to salami and a bit of hard luck
00:00 / 06:43

Listener Nick, who listens to The Rock every day in Canada, decided to share with us how he managed to get banned from the Dear Empress Hotel thanks to salami and a bit of hard luck back in 2001. Nick recently requested a pardon from his lifetime ban and wrote to the hotel explaining how the situation unfolded.

“Seventeen years ago, a string of unfortunate events led to me being banned from your hotel for life. I would like to explain the incident,” he started.

“In 2001, I recently joined my current employer and I was also in the Canadian Naval Reserve. [The company] was hosting a customer conference at the Empress and it was my first event with the company.”

Nick told his friends at the Navy that he was going to visit them while on his work trip and he was asked to bring a local salami delicacy. He bought whatever he could from the store so that he could give it to his friends and packed it in a suitcase.

“So just to be safe, I decided that I should keep [the salami] cool.”

“My room was nice and big and I had a front-facing room on the fourth floor. It was well-appointed, but it did not have a refrigerator.”

“It was April. The air was rather chilly and an easy way to keep all of this food cool would be to just keep it next to the open window.”

“I lifted one of the sashes and sprayed the packages of pepperoni out on the table and windowsill. Then I went for a walk for about four or 5 hours.”

When Nick returned back to his hotel, he opened his door to an entire flock of seagulls in his room. Nick didn’t have time to count but he reckons there must have been around 40 of them.

Anyone who’s ever been around seagulls knows how bat shit crazy they can be, now just imagine 40 of them in one hotel room. Obviously, the room got fucked up. 

“I called the front desk and asked for somebody to come and help me clean up the mess. And I can still remember the look on the lady's face when she opened the door. I had absolutely no idea what to tell her, so I just said, I'm sorry. Walked off to dinner.”

“When I came back, my things had been moved to a much smaller room, and I thought that was the end of it until I was told that my company had received a letter banning me from the Empress, a ban that I've respected for almost eight years.”

Check out the insane yarn in the video above!