Rock Drive

'Why we shoot Deer in the wild': Jay and Dunc read a yarn that will have you in stitches

This story teaches us to never mess with a Deer.

If you were a fan of the Bricklayers yarn or the Curry story, we can almost guarantee you'll enjoy this one. 

ROK - Deer Yarn 1920 X 1080
ROK - Deer Yarn 1920 X 1080
00:00 / 04:07

Jay and Dunc received a hell of a yarn from a listener about his experience trying to catch a deer that had them in stitches. 

The story titled 'Why we shoot deer in the wild' took us on all kinds of turns we weren't expecting and all we have to say is to never underestimate the power of a deer. 

We lost it at "I received an education".

Check Jay and Dunc retell the full yarn above or have a read of it below/

Why we shoot deer in the wild:
(A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, works well and actually tried this).

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that. since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there, it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it, and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder and then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back, they were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely-looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer - NO CHANCE! That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled, There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 mins later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost m taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when... I recked up to grab the rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. They bite you and shake their head, almost like a dog. It's HARD and it HURTS.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly, I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

I. being smarter than the deer (though you might be questioning that by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled the rope look. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behaviour for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... when this deer tried to have a go, I screamed and tried to run. I had always been told not to try and run from horses as there was a good chance they would hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong a 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer does this, it does not immediately leave. Instead, they paw your back and jump up and down on your while you are laying there crying like a little girl covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away, so now I know why people take rifles with a scope when they go Deer hunting - to even the odds!

All these events are true so help me God... an Educated Farmer.