One legend of a Kiwi has decided to auction off a prized New Zealand artefact in order to raise some money for a great cause.
Chris Clement from Masterton reckons he could be in possession of the last can of ‘Black V’ - a discontinued flavour of the energy drink that many Kiwis, Chris included, see as the peak of human invention.
On Saturday, Chris chucked the energy drink up on TradeMe under the title ‘The last can of Black V????’, and in the first line of the description promises to donate 50% of the winning bid to Mike King’s ‘Gumboot Friday’ charity. At the time of writing the current bid is $154.
Chris says he was planning to put it up for auction anyway, but when he heard Mike King’s chat with The Morning Rumble last week, he decided to put half towards Mike’s charity.
“I was thinking about throwing up a cheeky $1 reserve when I heard our mate Mike King pouring his absolute soul out on the rumble,” he told me. “Thinking ‘who knows it might make ten or twenty bucks’, I put it on and have made the promise of 50% to Gumboot Friday.”
“Even if it gives a few people a laugh, keeps the conversation around youth and men's mental health going, and even if it got no bids, hopefully, it could inspire a few people to take a look at Gumboot Friday and all the awesome work they are doing.”
“I’m no hero, the other 50% is going to the charity that is feeding my hungry ass kids, but I’m a firm believer in not being greedy and giving what you can when you can,” he finished.
Look mate, you’re a hero in our eyes. After all the Rock listeners have done for Gumboot Friday, anything else is just amazing.
As to why he thinks people should bet on the energy drink can, Chris had some strong feelings about the flavour.
“The black V is the greatest of all V and it’s criminal they are trying new flavours without bringing back the goat.”
As to how he got his hands on the premier ‘V’, well the description on the listing tells a wild tale.
“Two years ago, on a warm but whimsical summer evening, I was strolling past my local merchant located in a back alley of a long forgotten neighbourhood,” Chris wrote. “I happened to see he had a small golden safe marked ‘not for sale’. Curiosity got the better of me and I proceeded to make my enquiries.”
It took several weeks, but eventually Chris got the merchant to show him what was in the box.
“The holy grail. Perhaps the last one in existence. The greatest energy drink of all time.”
It took a quarter of a year from that point before Chris actually got his hands on the prized possession, and he gave up more than a lot to get it, including a car, some beers, and some house work.
(Chris told me the can was actually a courting gift from his partner, but I like the other story better).
Comments on the listing are some pretty good chat aswell.
"How soon after drinking this can I expect my super powers to kick in?" asked one commenter.
Chris replied saying he can't guarantee powers, but that the can "could be your origin story.
One bloke said he'd been making his own black Vs at home, but they weren't quite the same as the real thing.
"I've been using a Sharpie to colour my regular V's black but the hit just ain't the same," they wrote. "You sacrificed much to share this beauty with the rest of us. We thank ye."
That we do Chris, that we do.