News

Scientists say that getting morning wood means you'll live longer

The slumber lumber is a sign of great things
14 June 2022 12:08PM

A new study has come out saying that blokes who get ‘morning glory’ are more likely to live longer.

The scientific journal ‘Age and Ageing’ tracked almost 1,800 men, aged 40 - 79, for around 12 years, regularly asking them how often they woke up pitching a tent.

Those who did arise standing to attention were around 22% less likely to die from strokes and the other major killers, such as heart disease. 

The researchers reckon that sleeping stiffies are a sign that your blood is circulating without any dramas.

Studies have shown that woodies can make an appearance up to five times throughout a man’s sleep. They commonly occur during deep REM sleep - the stage of sleep just before we wake up - leaving us to wake with morning wood.

So, it seems that the slumber lumber is a great sign of a healthy body - leading to a schlonger life.

On the flip side, if the tent’s no longer pitching, it’d be a good idea to get yourself checked out.

Former president of the British Society for Sexual Medicine, Geoff Hackket, talked to The Sun about the issue.

“Loss of morning erections are a sign your arteries are not functioning properly,” he told the UK newspaper.

“That means you are at significant risk of a heart attack or stroke within three to five years. This applies to celibate, single men - not just those who have a partner.”

Keep an eye on your downstairs gentlemen, and feel free to celebrate when you wake UP first thing in the morning.